Growing up, I was fortunate to experience a childhood filled with love and support. My parents, pillars of strength, instilled wholesome qualities in my character. My father's tireless work ethic set a powerful example, and my mother ensured I felt heard, seen, and held, providing a foundation of love, affection, safety, and validation.​

However, the safety of my upbringing had its pitfalls, especially when it came to handling anger. Despite the love and stability in my upbringing, my unchecked anger became a formidable challenge.

My formative years were spent working for my father's construction company. In this blue-collar environment, I was often surrounded by highly masculine figures who, though skilled in their craft, often navigated life with unchecked tempers.

Their way of handling stress and frustration, which involved expressing anger through outbursts, became my template for dealing with life's challenges. Their stories of weekend escapades filled with influences like women and liquor, coupled with their expressions of frustration, created a blueprint for how I thought a "man" should show up in the world.

As a result, when things didn't go my way, I mirrored what I had learned. I would unleash my anger, falling back into destructive habits like numbing out through alcohol and nicotine, throwing temper tantrums and resorting to shame and manipulation. What I didn't understand then was that this behavior wasn't just about me; it was a product of the modeling I had witnessed throughout my formative years.

As a teenager, I lacked the tools to manage my anger maturely. I unleashed it onto others, unaware of healthier alternatives.

What compounded the issue was the lack of confrontation or guidance. Instead of addressing my anger, my family often distanced themselves from the situation, leaving me to believe that this behavior was acceptable. It created a pattern where, once the storm of my rage subsided, I was met with love and acceptance, reinforcing the notion that my anger wasn't a significant issue.

It wasn't until a pivotal moment in my life that I realized the profound impact my anger had on my relationships and well-being. This realization became the catalyst for my commitment to change and the beginning of my transformative journey with breathwork, cold water immersion, and men's circles — my holistic healing journey began.